1 00:00:00,501 --> 00:00:01,769 (BELL DINGS) 2 00:00:03,904 --> 00:00:05,406 Good morning. Name? 3 00:00:05,573 --> 00:00:07,775 Not until I see my lawyer. 4 00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:10,044 And by the way, I was with them last night. 5 00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:12,080 Max, it's just for the spring semester. 6 00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:14,782 Sorry, she watches a lot of Lockup: Raw. 7 00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:17,385 Uh, actually, I'm here to return checks. 8 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:21,289 There is no spring semester. The pastry school has been closed. 9 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:23,691 What? 10 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,726 Feel free to collect any personal items 11 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,761 you may have left in the workspace. 12 00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:30,331 You get the weed, I'll get the other weed. 13 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:34,802 This is insane. How can school be suddenly closed? 14 00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:37,371 Oh, good. John's here. He'll know what happened. 15 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,039 What makes you think he knows? 16 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:41,409 He's a big queen, Max. 17 00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:46,147 He'll know why school's closed and why Lady Gaga's last album failed. 18 00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:49,717 (THEME MUSIC) 19 00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:51,452 (CASH REGISTER RINGS) 20 00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:03,997 -Where's Chef Nicolas? -France... With his wife. 21 00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,067 Why is he in France? 22 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:09,303 Hmm, turns out someone in this room, 23 00:01:09,437 --> 00:01:11,305 maybe someone I'm looking at right over there, 24 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:14,375 had an affair with him and his wife found out all about it. 25 00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:18,779 Deke! 26 00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:24,185 Shocking! I... I didn't even know Chef Nicolas was gay! 27 00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:28,156 Oh, please. If he was gay, I would've been all over that. 28 00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:32,326 Like a gorilla on a breadstick. 29 00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:35,329 Lady, we all know it wasn't Deke. 30 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,332 Okay, yes, yes, fine. It was me. 31 00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:41,369 And my parents say I'm loose as a goose. 32 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,571 But it was not an affair. 33 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:47,275 We made out once, in six different places, on eight different occasions, 34 00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,076 and then I ended it. 35 00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:53,147 You ended that and you ended this! All of this! 36 00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:57,951 Forget my spatulas! Forget my whisk! It's over! 37 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,354 Brigadoon is over! 38 00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:02,190 Thanks, Caroline! 39 00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:07,695 You're acting like I'm the only one who ever closed a pastry school down. 40 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,435 Can't you just go to Deke's without me? 41 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,270 I'm too down in the dumps. 42 00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:18,972 Then what better place to be than in a dumpster? 43 00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:21,175 And Deke said to make sure to bring you. 44 00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:23,811 And relax, it's not a three-way situation. 45 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,279 When we made our three-way list, 46 00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:26,947 you were at the bottom with Taylor Swift. 47 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,617 Well, at least I'm with Taylor. 48 00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:33,187 On the three-way list, who's above me? 49 00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:36,257 Vicki what's-her-name from Real Housewives of Orange County. 50 00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:37,991 Is that the one with all the face work? 51 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,261 You're gonna have to be more specific. 52 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,833 Welcome, welcome. Wipe your feet on the way out. 53 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:52,340 Deke, I'm warning you right now, I am not in a partying mood. 54 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:56,109 Ain't no party like a Caroline party 'cause a Caroline party don't start. 55 00:02:57,110 --> 00:03:00,180 I'm heavy with guilt and that cheese omelet we just split. 56 00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:05,386 We're not partying, but I did snatch back the weed 'cause I's perfect. 57 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,587 Good. 58 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,722 I got it from Earl and he says it knocks you out so hard, 59 00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:12,159 he once used it and faked death to cash in a life insurance policy. 60 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:15,429 Well, we might need to do that too after what I did. 61 00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,498 Deke, I am so sorry about all of this. 62 00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:20,834 I am filled with regret and those home fries I just ate. 63 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,604 (MOCKING TONE) We all so sad pastry school got all closed. 64 00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,439 We don't know what to do. 65 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,877 I know what to do. Eat the pound cake in my purse. 66 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:34,081 Okay, so we all loved the pastry school, right? 67 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,717 Eh, it was all right. No big deal. 68 00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:41,422 No big deal? We had sex in like every classroom and both stairwells. 69 00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:44,792 And on Caroline's desk, but, eh, no big deal. 70 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,395 Eh, kind of a big deal. 71 00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:50,097 Was it a Tuesday on top of the New York Times? 72 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,266 And did you eat my cranberry Clif Bar after? 73 00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:55,569 'Cause I made someone cry about that. 74 00:03:55,736 --> 00:04:00,207 Okay, yes, it was fun. But it's over and that's life. 75 00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:03,577 Pastry school, no pastry school, eh, no big deal. 76 00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:04,812 I'm gonna buy it. 77 00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:07,415 -What? -Yes! 78 00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:10,217 Yes, I love that frickin' place! 79 00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:14,322 We had sex on your desk while eating your Clif Bar. 80 00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:15,823 It was awesome there! 81 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,564 Deke, what are you talking about? 82 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,800 I'll ask my parents to buy it as an investment. 83 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,001 Caroline, you can run the school. 84 00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:29,737 You're already killing it in the office. 85 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:31,972 And Max and I can be the badass students 86 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,974 who won't take guff from no damn teachers. 87 00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,810 How 'bout you stuff the cannoli again, bitch? 88 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,312 I own the damn place! 89 00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:43,351 Wait, is this even possible? I mean, it'll cost millions. 90 00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:45,118 Who cares? He's rich! 91 00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,287 Now I get the whole idea of money. 92 00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:50,391 It's lovely! It's the greatest idea ever! 93 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:53,427 I know and since we're doing it together, 94 00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:54,995 you'll both have to come meet my parents. 95 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,130 Max, they've been asking to meet my girlfriend anyway. 96 00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,467 Meet your parents? 97 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,869 Uh, the pastry school wasn't all that. 98 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:05,906 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 99 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:10,744 The elevator opens right in your apartment? 100 00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:13,614 Nope, don't belong here. Hold the doors, bub! 101 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,785 We're okay. Thank you, James. 102 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:21,221 Max, just do the opposite of everything you would normally do. 103 00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,991 I already am. I'm here! 104 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:27,728 Deke, hello. 105 00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:30,564 Go. Be warm. 106 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,766 Hello, Mrs. Bromberg. I'm Max. 107 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,469 I'm the housekeeper. 108 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,708 This is Iris. Been with us for years. 109 00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:43,076 Well, it was a lovely hug. 110 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:45,078 I'll tell your parents that you've arrived. 111 00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:47,247 (DEKE CHUCKLES) So, what, Max? 112 00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:50,484 You think any black woman you see here could be my mother? 113 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:55,789 Well, any white man I see anywhere could be my father. 114 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,459 Let's go. I already screwed up. 115 00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:02,062 No, you heard Iris. It was a lovely hug. 116 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,599 But then again, she is being paid. Here, better wear my pearls. 117 00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:09,970 Yeah, right! Me in those pearls is like a monkey in baby clothes. 118 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,271 Just plain wrong. 119 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:15,142 -Relax, Max. -What, are you crazy touching me? 120 00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,110 Your mother comes in here right now and she's like, 121 00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:20,848 "Oh, there she is, the hooker from the projects... 122 00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:24,384 ...getting it on with our son in the...." 123 00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:27,187 What, fancy-ass book room? 124 00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:32,292 Deke, you have a Warhol soup can? 125 00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:34,327 Uh, yeah, it used to be in my bedroom. 126 00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:35,529 It got moved out here 127 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,466 after I scotch-taped a Star Wars poster over it. 128 00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:42,536 Okay, okay. See, now, here is something we have in common. 129 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:47,741 I used to drink that soup. I can talk about that. 130 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:51,612 -Perfect, yeah. Talk about that. -MAX: Yeah. 131 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,782 Okay, see, when my mother was on a bender, 132 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,117 I would bust open the can on the kitchen counter 133 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,286 'cause I could never find the opener 134 00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:02,590 'cause she'd use the sharp tip of it to clean out her hash pipe. 135 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,927 -Give her the damn pearls. -Give me the damn pearls. 136 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:08,228 It's just a little help. 137 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:11,499 A signal to the rich people that says, "I'm one of you." 138 00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:14,502 Like seeing another Hells Angel wearing a vest with a patch 139 00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,570 that says, "Suck it, pig." 140 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:20,874 Well, Deke better give me a signal when his actual mom comes in 141 00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:23,877 because the way I'm going, I'd hug Oprah. 142 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,247 Oprah doesn't like to be hugged. 143 00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,818 A mistake I made at her Legends' Ball. 144 00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:33,253 One hug and 20 minutes later, 145 00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:37,858 my place setting was moved next to La Toya Jackson. 146 00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,629 Oh... 147 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,366 Thanks, girl. 148 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,368 You're Max. 149 00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,971 I'm Deke's mother, Genet. 150 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:53,140 Uh, Mom, this is our friend, Caroline. 151 00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:56,677 Thank you for inviting us. Amazing art collection. 152 00:07:56,810 --> 00:08:00,881 Oh, thank you. I'm afraid my husband and I are pop-art junkies. 153 00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:04,785 I eat soup. 154 00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,729 Speaking of my husband... David? 155 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:19,132 "I eat soup"? 156 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,334 He was right behind me. 157 00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:25,072 Oh, sometimes I swear, I should just leave a trail of breadcrumbs. 158 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,608 (LAUGHING LOUDLY) That's funny. 159 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:31,344 Okay, hold on a second there, folks. 160 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,681 I'm just sending some business e-mails. 161 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:35,415 Actually, I'm not. 162 00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:39,553 I'm looking at celebrities without their makeup, 163 00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:44,191 and I gotta say, Hugh Jackman, better without makeup. 164 00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:48,762 I'll take that. 165 00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,664 All right. 166 00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:53,133 -And what's in your mouth? -Sour ball. 167 00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,735 Give it to me, please. 168 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:58,238 Genet, I'm a grown man. I can have a sour ball. 169 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,974 You asked me to help you stop eating candy. 170 00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:02,910 -It's just one sour ball. -Spit it out. 171 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,211 -I can't. -Why not? 172 00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:05,579 It's a Mini Three Musketeers. 173 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:11,619 There he is! There's my son! 174 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:14,822 Until we get the results of the paternity test back. I love him! 175 00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,659 Hey, come on. No tongue in front of my girlfriend. 176 00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:19,860 Max, come over here. 177 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,963 Fine, but no tongue till after dessert. 178 00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:24,732 (LAUGHING) 179 00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:29,102 "No tongue till after dessert!" She's pretty and funny. 180 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,403 Who's your bodyguard? 181 00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:34,341 Oh, uh... (CHUCKLES) This is my friend. 182 00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,509 Mm, help me out. Totally blanked. 183 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,815 Oh, she's a little nervous. Hello, Mr. Bromberg. I'm Caroline. 184 00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:43,617 Drink before dinner, yes? 185 00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:47,788 Yes, but just one. But not because I'm pregnant! What? 186 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:52,525 Sit. Let's talk. 187 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:54,762 Yes, let's sit down. 188 00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:59,667 Have a nice conversation. Get to know each other better. 189 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:04,037 -So, tell me about pastry school. -Yes, tell us about pastry school. 190 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:06,774 Well, we went to class the other day and it was closed 191 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:09,943 and John, this big, gay pastry chef, was freaking out. 192 00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:12,746 -Max does a great impression of him. -No. No, I don't. 193 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,448 Yes, Max! It's really funny and totally charming. 194 00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:18,618 Oh, okay. Uh, he's like six five. 195 00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:21,521 -Stand. You gotta stand. -Yeah, okay, okay, okay. 196 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:24,725 And he had his arms up in the air like this. 197 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:38,138 Um, I think his arms were down. 198 00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:41,341 No, they were totally over his head. 199 00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,378 Yeah, she's right, they were down. 200 00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:48,215 Way down, like a crocodile. 201 00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:51,018 Or CeeLo. 202 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,758 What are you talking about? They were way up here. 203 00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,160 Way over his head and.... 204 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,429 Oh, yea... They were down. 205 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:07,267 You know what? I think he was sitting and was really quiet. 206 00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,838 Excuse me. I have to use the powder room. 207 00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:13,006 -Max, would you come with me? -Try and stop me. 208 00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:17,544 (FRANTICALLY PRESSES ELEVATOR BUTTON) 209 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,080 Max, it's over here. (ELEVATOR DINGS) 210 00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:21,982 We're not making a break for it? 211 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:25,719 Trapped. Trapped like rats. 212 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:31,258 What is wrong with you? Why are you sweating so much? 213 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:34,094 I think we'd be better off just wetting the whole dress. 214 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:38,398 I know. It must be the pearls. 215 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:42,102 My white-trash body is working overtime to reject them. 216 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:45,072 Ooh, okay. Raise your arms. 217 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,808 Why bother? They already hate me. 218 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,177 -Max, they do not hate you. -Well, they will. 219 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,412 This is Tommy Dolan all over again. 220 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:56,784 Who's Tommy Dolan? And FYI, great upper arm workout. 221 00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,453 He's this rich kid I liked in eighth grade. 222 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:03,723 And by rich, I mean his family could afford the acne medicine. 223 00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:07,727 He asked me out, but his parents said no because I was poor. 224 00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:10,063 And, to be clear, that was before I shot the ten BBs 225 00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:11,999 into their front picture window. 226 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:16,203 Max, you're not in eighth grade. This is a grown-up relationship. 227 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,205 Tonight's not just about a pastry school, 228 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,673 it's about you and Deke, so get it together. 229 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:23,210 You have a lot on the line and I have a neck cramp. 230 00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:26,780 (KNOCKING) 231 00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,315 Ladies, it's Genet. 232 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:31,118 Trapped. Trapped like more rats. 233 00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,025 Is everything all right in here? 234 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,894 -I didn't take anything. -I.... 235 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,764 Caroline, do you mind if I speak to Max alone? 236 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,168 Our neighbors have just stopped by. 237 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:52,605 They've opened a bottle of champagne. It's French. Wonderful. Enjoy. 238 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,743 Girl, you need to chill. 239 00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:04,484 -Um, uh... Excuse me? -You have got us all wrong. 240 00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:07,354 You walk in here, see this fabulous apartment 241 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,589 and all of this "fabulosity" 242 00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:12,826 and you think... you think I'm some rich bitch. 243 00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,431 I am. 244 00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:24,371 But I wasn't born that way. Uh-uh. I am from Queens, New York. 245 00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:28,741 Yeah, that's right. I'm just Genet from the block. 246 00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:35,048 Wait, then how did you get your own elevator and fish wallpaper? 247 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:38,818 Well, when David met me, I was a dancer. 248 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:41,021 Oh, you mean like on Broadway? 249 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,723 Yeah, well, close to Broadway. 250 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:50,864 The point is that we fell in love so completely... 251 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:55,102 ...that I even stopped taking his money after the third visit. 252 00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:03,610 (POSH ACCENT) Tell us, Deke, why a pastry school of all things? 253 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:08,548 Who cares? We're just thrilled he's no longer in the circus. 254 00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:11,184 -Girls-- -I didn't take anything. 255 00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:16,589 Amy and Adam have lived in the building since Deke was little. 256 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,692 Mom, don't tell Max I'm little. 257 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,062 I've convinced her I've got the biggest one she'll ever have. 258 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,833 Deke! Naughty, dirty, funny! 259 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:30,037 Adam and I love naughty comedy. We watch Bill Maher. 260 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,706 This pastry school would be a huge financial commitment, David. 261 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,175 Why don't you just go down to Union Square 262 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,310 and light a bag of money on fire? 263 00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:40,313 Mr. Chase, I agree, it's a huge undertaking. 264 00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:42,182 And if you'd like, we can discuss a business plan. 265 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,651 I did graduate top of my class from Wharton. 266 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:50,890 Wharton. In Philadelphia. The city of brotherly love. 267 00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:54,561 And let me tell you, it certainly is. 268 00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:00,300 Our son, Hunter, went to Wharton. He's about your age. 269 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:04,537 I'll text and tell him we've met you. What is your last name, Caroline? 270 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:06,373 Um... 271 00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:11,578 Channing. 272 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,880 Caroline Channing? 273 00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:15,382 Your father isn't Martin Channing, 274 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,517 the one in prison for the Ponzi scheme? 275 00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:23,223 Amazing fish! I love this tilapia. It's almost a chicken-y fish. 276 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,059 Deke, you never told us about this. 277 00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:28,528 What, that the fish was chicken-y? 278 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,532 You know that's why I don't come home anymore. 279 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,636 Why would I tell you? She didn't steal the money. He did. 280 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,405 Deke does have a point. 281 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:41,608 It wasn't Caroline and her father is serving time. 282 00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:45,212 Ah, speaking of serving, there are like nine forks here. 283 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,214 Where do I go next? 284 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,683 It's easy for you to say, Deke. You didn't lose money. 285 00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:53,820 Amy and I had to move from the penthouse to the fourth floor. 286 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:57,424 The fourth floor, Deke! That's three above the doorman. 287 00:15:58,658 --> 00:15:59,792 Only five bedrooms, 288 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,895 and I can hear the "whoosh-whoosh" of the damn elevator all night long! 289 00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:07,667 Genet, I cannot believe you would invite a Channing into your home. 290 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,572 Sir, if you say another bad word about her, 291 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,974 I'm gonna "whoosh-whoosh" you off that chair. 292 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,211 Max, these are our friends. 293 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,913 Yeah, well she is my friend and she's had it pretty rough. 294 00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:23,283 And I'm not gonna sit here and let them insult her. 295 00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:26,253 Oh, you only have five bedrooms? 296 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,756 Well, she sleeps in the wall. 297 00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:38,731 You rich people are all the same. 298 00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:41,868 Max, take it down. You're gonna "whoosh" you did later. 299 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,172 No, Deke. I mean, look at this table. 300 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,740 Seven forks and ten knives, for what? 301 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,143 You know what we have at our apartment? 302 00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:54,514 Five chopsticks and a spork from Kentucky Fried Chicken 303 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,683 and we do fine. 304 00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:01,054 We don't need to sit here and gravel-- 305 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,655 -Grovel. -Whatever. 306 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,959 For your money or their approval. 307 00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:10,163 All I can say is you rich people are lucky those cops took my BB gun. 308 00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,398 Let's go, Caroline. 309 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,200 No, this is my fault. I'll go. 310 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,568 No, you know what? We'll all go. 311 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,904 Deacon, sit down. 312 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,739 You are not leaving the table with them. 313 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,474 I go where she goes. 314 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:24,144 Except not in the bathroom because we like to leave a little mystery. 315 00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:29,249 I mean, what is the big deal, anyway? 316 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,351 You have a problem with her because of her father, 317 00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:33,986 but no problem with his mom being a stripper? 318 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,357 What? You were a stripper? 319 00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,959 Mom? 320 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:44,464 -Max! -Oh, is that not common knowledge? 321 00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:51,037 -I feel so bad. -Don't. I should have guessed. 322 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:53,340 My mom's way too limber at tennis. 323 00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:56,109 And it totally makes me respect my dad more. 324 00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:58,378 A Jew marrying a black woman is impressive. 325 00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,813 Marrying a black stripper is awesome. 326 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:04,817 No, I feel bad about your parents cutting you off financially. 327 00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:07,354 But you're okay with outing my mom? 328 00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:10,590 Look, they gave me a choice, my money or you. 329 00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:13,526 It only took me two hours to decide and I picked you. 330 00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:16,696 I wish it took you two hours. You didn't even think it over. 331 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,998 You were out of there immediately. 332 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:20,833 Deke, how are you gonna live without money? 333 00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:24,404 Hey, I already live in a dumpster. I'm used to roughing it. 334 00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:26,873 -Who bought the dumpster? -They did. 335 00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:28,775 Who bought the solar panels on the roof? 336 00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:31,778 They did. But I bought that cool skateboard poster. 337 00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:34,080 -Deke. -Okay, it was in a box of Honeycomb. 338 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:38,585 -And who bought the Honeycomb? -They did. Max, it'll be fun. 339 00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:41,688 Oh, come on. How hard could it be? 340 00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,956 Look, I get up tomorrow, I get a job here. 341 00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:46,259 Zippity-boo, get another job there. 342 00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:48,995 Now I got 20,000, then zippity-pow. 343 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,198 Make another 20,000, zippity-zang. 344 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,466 Then I'm lousy with Honeycomb. 345 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,469 Now, cheechity-chong, where did I put Earl's weed? 346 00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,911 What's the emergency? Are you all right? 347 00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:07,980 I'm fine, but Deke's insane! 348 00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:10,317 He thinks he can make it as a poor person. 349 00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:13,586 You never know, I did. Sure, the first.... 350 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,322 What's today, Monday? 351 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,724 Sure, the first thousand days were hard, but.... 352 00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,626 Deke is nothing like you! 353 00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:23,162 You are resilient and smart and creative and driven. 354 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,698 No one could do what you did. You're amazing. 355 00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:28,401 Max, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. 356 00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:31,771 Oh, don't get all wet. You're still at the bottom of the three-way list. 357 00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:37,109 My point is, I can't let Deke give up his money. 358 00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:41,248 It's his decision. And it's the most romantic thing I've ever heard. 359 00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:43,483 It's crap! 360 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:46,819 I care about Deke more than I have ever cared about anyone. 361 00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:50,122 So I have to give him back. I just called his mother. 362 00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:53,125 At 2:00 am and she picked up the phone? 363 00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:54,861 Oh, right, I forgot. She was a stripper. 364 00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:57,163 She's used to picking things up at night. 365 00:19:58,064 --> 00:20:01,601 And she said they'd take Deke back, but he has to come to them. 366 00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:03,069 That's great. 367 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,339 So, come on. You and I are pushing him home. 368 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:07,507 In the dumpster. 369 00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:10,877 Pushing it to the Upper East Side? 370 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,546 Yes! He's totally knocked out on Earl's weed. 371 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:14,847 He will not feel a thing. 372 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,017 Help me push right now before I realize what I'm losing 373 00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:19,486 and change my mind. 374 00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:21,488 Go! You take that side, I'll take this. 375 00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,189 And we won't stop till we're there 376 00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,292 or one of us falls off the Brooklyn Bridge. 377 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:27,360 We can never get it there, Max. 378 00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:30,497 Then we'll get it as far as we can and then at least when Deke wakes up, 379 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,765 he won't be stuck here with me in the morning, 380 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,567 and he can have a life. 381 00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,337 I was wrong earlier. 382 00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:39,839 This is the most romantic thing I've ever seen. 383 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:45,278 Don't cut yourself on the dumpster or you'll get lockjaw. Push. 384 00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:50,583 Max, even better upper-arm workout! 385 00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:53,786 See, only you would say that. 386 00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:01,894 (CASH REGISTER RINGS) 387 00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,152 (English US - SDH)